Homeless and without his parents at just 17, but Ben still wants to help others

When he was only 12 and his younger brother Sam nine, Ben’s mother Beverley suffered a heart attack, which led on to severe brain damage and she was in a coma until recently.

She is now being cared for at Castel Froma care home in Leamington and neither Ben nor other members of his family are sure whether she recognises them.

Not long after his mother’s heart attack, Ben’s father Dan suffered a collapsed lung and required care for some time. He died in June this year.

This left Ben with nowhere to live and no one to care for him. But the brave teenager managed to carry on with his studies and successfully pass his GCSEs and the first year of his A-levels. He is now considering writing his first book.

But before that, he told the Courier his inspirational story.

“I was not my dad’s official carer but he did require care at home for the last six months when he was out of hospital. I would help him get dressed, get him his meals and cups of tea.

“He spent most of this year in and out of hospital.

“But none of us realised how quickly he would deteriorate.”

Ben, who had been living with his dad at their home on the Woodloes estate, was called by the hospital on Friday June 10 and told that it was likely his father would have one week left of his life.

“I went home and packed up my stuff - I was determined to spend the whole week with him.

“I stayed up all night, lying on the bed next to him. He could not speak but the nurses said he could still hear. So I spent 12 to 14 hours talking to him constantly.

“I thought I would keep going for the whole week.”

The next morning, Ben was told by nurses that he had better start calling other people who were important to his dad. He called his brother, grandmother and his girlfriend Emily and her family - with whom his now temporarily living in Barford.

He said: “We were trying to make conversation. I was holding my dad’s hand and he just passed away.

“Nothing can prepare you for that.

“I had spent most of the evening thinking how I was going to deal with it, but that did not help.”

Four months after that day, the events continue to haunt Ben all the time.

He said: “It’s like I have lost a part of me.

“It creeps up on you - when you are alone or going to sleep at night. Your mind starts to divert back to what happened that night.

“People have told me to try to remember the good times. I do, but my mind just keeps going back to that night.

“I don’t regret staying there, but it’s something that will define me for some time to come.”

Ben and Sam had both gone into foster care when their father was first admitted into hospital in January, but Dan later asked Ben if he would stay at home to look after him when he was out of hospital.

While Sam continues to live with his foster family, Ben was unable to return to this type of care as he is over the age of 16.

And to add to his worries, when his dad passed away, he had to leave their home as it had been privately rented by Dan and Ben was unable to pay the rent.

He said: “So then I began trying to get a single room or small flat somewhere and the council is now in the process of trying to find me one.

“There are a lot of support networks around me - school, my girlfriend and her family and my nan. There’s always someone I can turn to.”

Ben was keen to mention Gary Timlin of the Raising the Roof charity, who gave him “amazing” support in making sure he always accompanied Ben to meetings with social services and council representatives.

There is also his grandmother - ‘nan’ - who Ben describes as a “rock”, the teachers at Aylesford, who Ben says have been incredibly understanding and keen to help and, of course, his girlfriend Emily, who has been by his side through the worst of it.

“I have had a little bit of bereavement counselling and will probably have some more, but at the moment I want to focus on the positives rather than the negatives.”

Ben, who is taking A-levels in English language, English literature and history, has been writing short stories since he was much younger and has won some competitions. He is now thinking about writing his own book.

He said: “I attempted to write about my parents just after my dad died, but I got about two pages in and ripped it up because I couldn’t write anymore.

“I’d like to think I will at some point. If so and it is published, I would like to donate any proceeds made to Castel Froma and dedicate the book to my mum and my dad.

“They did so much for me. To give something back would be nice.”

Anyone who speaks to Ben will be struck by his incredibly calm, dignified and articulate manner, even when speaking about the hardest moments he has been through. How does he cope?

“It’s not easy, but it’s more a case of saying, what’s happened has happened and I have got to make the best of a bad situation and focus on my future.

“Last year my school life would fit around my home life. My dad’s health came first. This year I am trying to work my life around everything to do with school. I was always determined to give it my all.”

He has also been able to offer support to others. He said: “Other people who have had problems have come to ask me how I dealt with mine, so I have been able to give them advice. It’s nice that through my situation, I can help other people.

“If you have a problem, there are people out there who have been through it and lived through it. If you ever need to talk to anyone, then go and find someone to talk to. The worst thing you can do is go it alone. Talking does help.”