Looking to start a sex club? It’s easy...

I must admit that after two previous failed applications and with no changes other than a name change to comply with the legalities of a third attempt, I was doubtful of the outcome in spite of, or even because of, another club’s recent successful bid. After all, how many of these places does an area need? However, now that it has been established that, “If at first you don’t succeed...,”

I am looking for suitable (or unsuitable, it doesn’t seem to matter) premises in Kenilworth Park Hill and Abbey wards, Warwick West and Leek Wootton, where I can apply (repeatedly) for a sex establishment licence so that the electors of those councillors who voted in favour of the Leamington clubs’ licences can enjoy their own lap-dancing facilities in the heart of their communities.

It would be fair to assume that there will be no objections from those councillors since, just as in Leamington , there would be “no solid evidence the club would affect the area” and any concerns would be based on “conjecture”. - Sarah Hall, via email.