Domestic abuse warning after Rugby mother escapes “sick monster”

The coronavirus crisis has dramatically compounded domestic violence against women, new research has revealed.

Women in abusive relationships have suffered more violence from their partners during the pandemic. There has also been an increase in stalking offences and online abuse.

The woman is now warning others in the same situation to get out while they can.

She had to leave the town she grew up in, her home and the job and family she loved to escape her abuser, who was prosecuted.

“He was an old school friend of mine,” said the woman, who wished to remain anonymous.

“But he could be quite charming and after a whirlwind romance we got married.”

She said her husband, who was a heavy drinker, would get angry over small things.

“I got in late one night from my job as a care worker and the minute I walked in he started on me for not being on time,” she added.

“He thumped me in the eye and I fell to the ground.”

The abuse continued but she was too terrified to do anything about it.

“Police were called three times but I didn’t press charges until later on.”

She said during one of the attacks, her husband beat her leaving the bed clothes covered in blood.

“He also urinated on me,” she added.

“It was so humiliating. He also dragged me across the floor by my hair and kicked me. He once poured water all over me and seemed to take pleasure in telling me I looked so vulnerable.

“I got quite good at covering up black eyes with make up and making excuses for him. He was a monster.

She was he was constantly messaging other women he’d met online and she later discovered he was having an affair.

“He destroyed my phone,” she said.

“My heart was broken because it had my son’s graduation pictures on.”

She said he would manipulate her to stay, promising to change his wicked ways.

“But he never did and from what I know about him now, he’s not going to,” she told the Rugby Advertiser.

“I’ve heard he is with another woman now and continues to bombard other women with sexually explicit content. I hope she gets out - and soon.”

The woman now runs her own successful business in another part of the country.

She said: “He got a £200 fine for damaging my phone, community service and a two year injunction - he may as well have got a slap on the wrist.

“People like that don’t change. I hope others read my story and realise there is life after abuse.

“I will never forget what he did, but I’m not a victim, I’m a survivor.”

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger telephone 999.

Warwickshire Against Domestic Abuse (WADA) offers help and support to victims of domestic abuse. WADA can also offer help and advice to family and friends of victims, and abusers.

Visit WADA’s talk2someone website or call the freephone helpline on 0800 4081552. Calls made from landlines should not appear on itemised phone bills, but check with telephone provider if you’re in doubt or calling from a mobile phone.

The government has teamed up with independent pharmacies and Boots to launch a domestic abuse Ask for ANI codeword scheme.

The Ask for ANI scheme allows those at risk or suffering from abuse to discreetly signal that they need help and access support. By asking for ANI, a trained pharmacy worker will offer a private space where they can understand if the victim needs to speak to the police or would like help to access support services such as a national or local domestic abuse helplines.