Meet two inspirational women who have been nominated for a £1,000 VIP night at a Warwick gin and cocktail bar

From special birthdays and anniversaries to wedding receptions, the past 18 months have meant missed celebrations with loved ones.

Now for one Courier and Weekly News reader it’s finally time to celebrate thanks to a Warwick business owner. Steve Bazell, who runs That Gin & Cocktail Bar in Swan Street, plans to reward someone who has been through a particularly tough time during the pandemic, with a free party, worth more than £1,000.

The winner of the exclusive Just The Tonic Campaign, with the Courier and Weekly News, will be treated like a VIP for the night, receiving exclusive use of the private hire room.

Steve said: “These ladies have both been through so much, not just over the past couple of years, but throughout much of their lives. Truly inspiring finalists who deserve the spotlight.”

Visit: http://thatgincompany.co.ukHere we meet the first of three pairs of finalists – friends Debbie Ellard and Amanda Lothian – who were nominated by Amanda’s husband Alan.

Empathy is at the heart of a decade of friendship between two inspirational south Warwickshire women.

Debbie Ellard from Radford Semele and Amanda Lothian from Warwick are supporting one another through the shared pain of loss as well as tackling the challenges of a child with learning needs – and all under the cloud of life-limiting illness.

After being diagnosed with Huntington’s Disease ten years ago, Debbie’s future is a frightening one. Her mother’s death last year from the same condition was an agonising reminder of her own fate.

But it’s a chapter she is determined to ‘find the positives’ from and, along with Amanda, has raised more than £20,000 for The Huntingdon’s Disease Association. Events and sponsored challenges include Zipwire, skydiving, coffee mornings and, currently in the planning, a spring ball and possible wing-walk.

The condition, which affects one in every 10,000 people, is caused by a faulty gene and leads to progressive degeneration of nerve cells in the brain, affecting movement, emotions and cognitive functions.

For the 48-year-old care nurse and mum of two, the road ahead is a scary one, but, nonetheless, one she’s determined to turn into a positive for others, from fundraising through to participating in ongoing clinical studies. She said: “People are usually given around 15 years from when the first symptoms appear. You go from being able-bodied to basically needing 24-hour care. It takes away your life.

“The biggest thing for me is raising awareness, trying to get people to understand that sometimes I might say ‘no’ because I don’t want to, or can’t, do it without feeling guilty because we do have to look after ourselves as well.

No is the hardest word for me. But I’m going to carry on fundraising for as long as I can, even when I’m in a wheelchair!

“So many people are scared of HD and don’t want to talk about it. If I can change that for one person who gets in touch to say they want to talk to me about it, I would be delighted.”

As well as coming to terms with - and battling early signs of - her illness, Debbie divides her time outside of work as a part-time carer for her 80-year-old father who has early onset dementia - and supporting her two teenage children, of whom has learning needs.

“Dad never really dealt with my mum passing away and he’s absolutely petrified about what’s going to happen to me. He tells me he doesn’t want to watch me go through the same thing as my mum went through,” said Debbie.

“Nathan is now 19 and is a beautiful son but he has to work harder for everything. He’s a bit like his mum, he just takes it on the chin and gets on with it.”

The pressures on her demanding role as a care nurse at Warwick Hospital throughout the pandemic, have also taken their toll. But typically, Debbie also finds the positive in that.

She said: “At the start of the pandemic, I was advised by the Government to not work because of my condition. But I wanted to be part of the team and support them, so my consultant cleared me to return to work. It was so tough at times, but also so rewarding being able to tell families that we were there and that we would do what we can for their loved ones being treated in hospital.

“One of the hardest challenges however was not being able to hold someone’s hand and comfort them when they were dying, and having to call relatives and say, ‘I’m so sorry but you can’t come in.’ It was so sad. But I think with nursing you’ve just got to try and go that extra mile. I like to think I do that without even realising. Ultimately, I trust and love what I do.”

She added: “I’m very much a people person. I just want to give. I’m a big believer that you reap what you sow. If I’m going to leave a legacy behind I want it to be a good one. “

Debbie’s husband Dave said: “Deb knows her fate. She knows her time to make a difference to people’s lives is limited. So she overcompensates and tries all the more to do the right thing. Be it at work, going the extra mile to ensure patient welfare, caring for her elderly father, or doing those tiny noticeable things for friends and family, knowing one day she won’t be able to do them.

“Despite the dark future ahead, she manages to face the world head-on and stride forwards. But never a day goes by without her thinking about Huntington’s Disease. Giving her the recognition for all she does, and has done, will give her that boost and small window of time to think about having fun!”

After encountering more than her own share of adversity, Amanda Lothian can certainly relate to Debbie’s story and, just like her inspirational friend, possesses a dogged determined to overcome and help others in the process.

Amanda experienced challenges in her childhood dealing with domestic abuse and then in later life, despite suffering from Fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue Syndrome and Hypermobility Syndrome, Amanda, 48, became a carer for her mother who died last spring, after years of recurring breast cancer moved to her brain.

She said: "Mum’s funeral was a wash out. Only 15 people were allowed because of lockdown and the wake had to be held in the car park of the crematorium. It was all very isolating and insignificant for such an inspirational mum”.

Until recently, Amanda also dedicated years of her life to Special Educational Needs learning, prompted by her own son’s diagnosis with Asperger’s at the age of three.

“Early diagnosis has been the key to his development. I gave up my IT Career and went on loads of training with the National Autistic Society and further completed an NVQ for Supporting Teaching and Learning and developing a career in education,” she said.

The loss of her mother was a huge blow. She had supported Amanda’s family and embraced Autism learning and formed an incredible bond with her grandson. “She offered endless comfort and support to us all and she has left an enormous hole in our family.”

Amanda’s own childhood was more difficult and the family unit that she built with her own son and mother was a huge contrast to living with an abusive and alcoholic stepfather.

More recently Amanda has been a huge support to her husband, Alan whose mental health suffered after twice losing his job during the pandemic.

“The weekend before mum died Alan lost his job for the first time. You couldn’t have slammed us with a bigger hammer going through those things - and such big events (bereavement and unemployment) during his GCSE exams year for a teenager with autism too. He worried so much,” she added.

Debbie and Amanda were nominated for the Just The Tonic award by Amanda’s husband Alan Lothian.

He said: “Having gone through some work challenges and mental health issues myself during the past two years, Amanda has truly been the pivotal role of the family even when she has faced one of the darkest periods of her life in losing her mum, Patricia.

“Thankfully she has helped me through my challenges and I am writing this with the hope this can count as a small thank you to both of them for what they have done for me, for my family, and friends from all over the UK.”

What does Amanda say about Debbie?

Debbie is just amazing – resilient and brave, strong and kind and thoughtful. She always sees someone is worse off than her even though ultimately she’s watched her mother die of, and is now herself living with, Huntingdon’s Disease, which is just horrific. She never says ‘why me?’ ”

What does Debbie say about Amanda?

“We’ve been through a lot together but she’s never afraid to say no when it comes to fundraising – and she looks out for me. She’s a gem. We both have this attitude that you’ve got to live your life. We get one bash at it. It’s no dress rehearsal.”

Further information about Huntington’s Disease or how to get involved with The Huntington’s Disease Association is available at: https://www.hda.org.uk/Both Alan and Amanda raise awareness around Autism and funds for The National Autistic Society who can be contacted at: https://www.autism.org.uk/